Meditation is something that has been a big part of my life for over two decades. It’s something that has helped me to understand more about myself, my perception of my world, and to live a life that I love living most of the time. I want more people to experience the understanding and peace it can bring. I think if we all knew ourselves a bit better the world would be a better place. We would see situations and ourselves from different perspectives. With all that is happening in each of our worlds at this point in time, I wanted to take away some of the difficulty in what is ultimately a simple practice. Meditation can help us in so many ways, from taking the edge off, helping with anxiety and blood pressure, to enhancing our spiritual understanding. Meditation helps us in the mental, physical, and emotional realms. So, even if you think one is stupid, you have at least one other to focus on that will make an impact. In my experience with talking to people, they don’t meditate for a few reasons.
Uncomfortable truth #1 – it can be boring, especially at first
“Finally, I feel comfortable sitting… Breathe in breath out… breathe in breath out…. did I just hear my phone? I have an itch… Why’s that car so loud, don’t they know that’s annoying to everyone… I’m just… sitting here…. Yep… still sitting. Jingle Bells Jingle Bells jingle all the way… stop it, you malicious Christmas carol… Why does my mind revert to that every time I’m bored, maybe I have mental issues… Now I have to pee… I’m bored. Breathe in breathe out…. I’m getting up, this is stupid, and I hate it, Jingle Bells… Jingle Bells….” That inner monologue sounds familiar to me (not just because I wrote it) and if you’ve ever tried to meditate you probably resonate with it. The thing is that it can be boring, but it gets more interesting the more you practice it. Give yourself a small goal, start with 2 minutes and work your way up from there. The really good stuff happens after 45 minutes, but that’s not necessary for the grand majority of the benefits of meditation.
Why to meditate anyway
Being bored isn’t really something many of us know how to deal with, we rarely encounter it anymore as we have constant diversion at our fingertips. Being bored is actually good for us humans though, it brings on creativity and new ideas. Plus, I think a good indicator of success (definitions may vary) is having the ability and tenacity to do things you don’t want to do. It’s a skillset like any other. A crazy truth is the more you practice being bored the less bored you actually are. It’s important to be able to be alone with our thoughts with as little distraction as possible. It’s okay, you will suck at it at first and even as your practice gets further along, it’s actually an important part of the process. I also think that as you become more seasoned in meditation you receive great insights and all of those insights are reached after breaking down inner barriers, boredom is a part of that wall, at least for me. I know that when I get antsy or bored that I’m on the right track while meditating. Start small, start with 2 minutes and work your way up from that or 30 seconds, the meditation police won’t judge you, because they’re not real. The length of time is something to work up to, it’s simply a practice. The truth is, even 30 seconds of practice is better than nothing. Below is a video that is 2 minutes long that I took of the waves rolling onto a beach. If you like that sort of thing start with that. Close your eyes if you want to or just watch the waves, whichever is most comfortable for you.
Uncomfortable truth #2 – I don’t have the equipment, or I’m not prepared – You’re lying to yourself
A lot of people think that they have prep work to do. They must have a specific room, specific equipment like a meditation pillow and a mat, loose and comfortable clothes, a quiet space, Tibetan singing bowls, or maybe those little bells that go on your fingers… once I have those things then I’ll be able to meditate. Nope, sorry. Thankfully, meditation isn’t a snooty date that demands things, yourself included, be perfect. Meditation is the state of practicing the simple things we find difficult, at least that’s how I see it. So many people that I talk to seem to think that they’ll be “better” at meditating if they are prepared. The thing is though, that’s just an excuse, and the real fear here is that they aren’t going to be good at it and that all that “stuff” they use to prep themselves will make it easier. It won’t and it’s actually better that it doesn’t.
Why to meditate anyway
Just like it’s important to allow ourselves to be bored it’s important in our journey to being an adult (an actual adult that handles situations and people in a thoughtful adult manner, not just a big child that is over the age of 18) to be able to be adaptable. To have the flexibility to be with ourselves in as many imperfect situations as possible. The only thing you really need to meditate is you. Take the time you have, not the time you want or wish you had. Take the circumstances you have, not the ones you wish you had to practice. The world isn’t perfect, and we rarely get things exactly the way we want them. Being adaptable is a good skill to have, and according to Darwin the most important skill to have.
Uncomfortable truth #3 – I suck at meditating
“I’m not good at it” This is the most common reason given that I hear when people ask me about meditation and then tell me why they don’t do it. No one likes doing something they think they’re bad at and I get it. Meditation has a few metrics people seem to use to judge their success. “My mind wonders”, “I can’t sit still”, “It’s not comfortable, the lotus position isn’t for me”, “I get too distracted”, etc. Then, when they fail, (according to their own personalized benchmark of success) they just chalk it up to they’re not good at it and miss out on a world that involves less anger, less anxiety, less perspective, and less growth.
Why to meditate anyway
I’m here to tell you that everyone that has been a beginner at meditating goes through all of those same pain points and disappointments. For the record, I still have a hard time with full lotus, and I don’t think it’s necessary. I either sit in any comfortable position I feel like or I lie down, it’s not that serious in the beginning. Posture can be important so don’t discount it but play with different ones and never do anything that physically hurts to do it. I think oftentimes people think they HAVE to be in a certain position and then that starts to hurt and they just endure it – then hate it, and it doesn’t have to happen that way. The thing is very few people are “good” at meditating and the ones who would be considered good are just proficient at it. How does one become proficient at something? Practice. They have just had more practice than you or me. Something that helped me a lot (and I realized this like a decade into my practice) is if you’re struggling to keep your mind on your breath and you’re doing the counting method (usually 1-10), instead count to two. 1 breathe in and 2 breath out. I simplified it for myself and was able to focus on my breath much more when practicing this Zanzen meditation. Something else you can do with this is to focus on the way your breath feels physically on your upper lip as you exhale and the way it feels in your nostrils as you inhale. Have a happy practice or don’t, you will definitely experience both and both have a beauty to them.
